All Hallows – “Chip Hoover” Experiment

This past summer Chip Hoover traveled with his daughter and Lance Lacy to race in North Carolina – sans Mommy.  The experiment: 2 Men and a Baby.

Saturday I decided to give this a go.  I made the logistical plans with Kim and Judd.  She would have a day to herself and Judd, Drew, and I would travel an hour south to race the All Hallows CX.  The rain made travel slow and playtime at the race less than desirable, but the experiment was a success.  Drew, as usual, was happy and mellow – content to be held beneath an umbrella and watch bike riders going in seemingly random directions.  Judd had about 10-15 minutes of warm up but had a secret weapon.  He was still drunk from the night before.  Using this beer-power he paced himself early and allowed the alcohol to fuel his muscles…kind of like an alcohol funny car only at slow motion.  He took 3rd and this was in conditions that one could easily be allowed to assume would not be to his advantage – slippery, sometimes rooty, and slow.  Take notice all those staying off the sauce to hope for greater achievements.  Steve “I’m on Fire” Fife and “The Todd” Todd Bickling finished a 8th and 11th respectively.  Fife was not too psyched to see Judd beat him given how little Judd’s done to prepare himself for racing this season (using the minimal-training-plan) and specifically for this race by showing up hung over and with 30 minutes until go time.  Like roid-range this one time fluke was likely due to beer strength.

My race prep included getting the umbrella jammed in the hatch back of Judd’s VW, giving Drew his bottle, changing his diaper, and passing him off to Judd.  I rode around the start/finish area and then we were off.  I’ll spare the long-winded blow-by-blow…I won.  The course was a lot fun.  No terrain to speak of but they made good use of what they had including a barn ride-through, a rooty single track section, and a sandy horse corral of sorts.

So, lessons learned.  #1 Don’t put an umbrella near an auto latching hatch back.  #2 Drinking the night before a race is akin to carb loading.  #3 Diaper changes can suffice for warming up.

An alternative to Judd’s approach, but perhaps more effective is the knowledge that you will get drunk after your race rather than before.  Jared Nieters followed this game plan perfectly…taking the W in the Elite Mens field and then throwing back copious amounts of alcohol at the Reef later that night.

Fife Todd Judd

Fife2 Judd2



A bit grainy, but you can see Drew was briefly subjected to parental Halloween abuse.  He was dressed up as Count Boobula – a nickname Kim and I came up with sometime ago given Drew’s ravenous appetite.


~ by Indy on November 2, 2009.

2 Responses to “All Hallows – “Chip Hoover” Experiment”

  1. The next morning it felt like Brother Thelonious had punched me in the temple.

  2. Most nights I’m asleep before 9, so here’s my plan. A 40 of St. Ides on the way to the race, Have Max or Millie poop in the X-6, then have Heather get her hair caught in the hatch…that’s a recipe for a victory I’m sure!

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