Going PRO

According to USA Cycling I have 2 options as a semi-pro mounain biker (freshly minted this year for complete disclosure) – go back to the Expert ranks of which my hard earned money and wasteful training allowed me to escape OR step into the Thunder Dome, Pain Cave, Hurt Locker of Pro ranks, for which I am woefully unskilled, untrained, unVO2 max’d, unshaven, and not sober enough to join.

Being Irish (vis a vis, a drunkard) and unwilling to step down from a challenge, however clearly unprepared I am for it, I will take door number 2.

According to former Olympian and four-time USA Cycling Mountain Bike National Cross Country Champion Jeremy Horgan-Kobelski, “This change will result in deeper pro fields, but will also produce an extremely competitive atmosphere among amateurs”.  In other words, he’ll have pack fodder like me to stomp on.  But wait, has he considered the repercussions of having to pass a lapped semi-pro-gone-pro rider who, though outmatched on the bike, is physically larger, quite ornery from being passed so much, and likely 3-sheets to the wind (and having taken MGD hand-offs since the 2nd lap after realizing that racing at this level was absurd)?

Are you ready for that JHK?

In reality, for most-to-all of the races I do/will do these categories mean nothing.  Locally, we race mixed fields of Pro/Semi-Pro/Expert (or just Elite) anyway.  Greenbrier, the only true USA Cycling event around, is the only time I will be given the opportunity (other than national events) to have my ass gladly handed to me in the PRO category.  Better plan my hand-offs wisely…Heavy Seas? 90 Minute? Corsendonk?

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~ by Indy on September 16, 2008.

4 Responses to “Going PRO”

  1. Saison Dupont. Back in the day, Belgiam farm hands were given rations of saison rather than water to quench their thirsts!

  2. Go seasonal. Saison or Maibock in the spring. Aventinus dopple wheat in summer, Oktoberfest for the fall and definitly Barley Wine for the winter. I do find that beer foams quite badly in bottles though. You might want to have someone pre-stir it to get out some of the carbonation. The other way to bo is to have someone pre drill out PBR cans and then you could shotgun them real quick.

  3. Saison – good choice. Although I like the PBR shotguns. Since I would be sinking like a snitch with concrete loafers in the race scrum, the greater efficiency I could achieve the better. So blasting 12oz of carbo-barley fuel into my gut at the fastest rate possible seems to achieve this. Thanks for the help.

  4. I still have those PBRs in my fridge from months ago. remember you quaffed at the suggestion of drinking one? I’ll keep them in there until Greenbrier 09 for ya, buddy. get some!!

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