Notice the theme here – people. Crazy ones. I got a postcard in the mail yesterday that was clearly junk mail – to Mr Evan A Ellicott or Current Resident. The back has huge letters: MISSING, followed by “And loved very much”. Seems a cat is missing in the Takoma Park area and the owner is offering a $1000 reward. I am no expert but would bet these fliers rarely work….Especially when the cat has been missing since December of 2003. That’s no typo – I checked the woman’s cat website (www.mugoddai.com) – YES, there is a website dedicated to a cat missing for more than 3 years. I don’t like to be mean, but am often labeled as such for being, well, rather blunt. My message to her is…either the cat is very happy with someone else, so take comfort; or more likely, the cat is dead. Hit by a car, killed by a dog, ate a poisoned rat, whatever. Three years?? Come on. When I was a teenager and my 18 year old cat went missing – I assumed she had gotten hit by a car. That cat knew how to take of herself outside. 18 years of scraps with other local cats and dogs and provided survival wisdom. So when she didn’t return after a few days I went looking on the local roads with my newly acquired drivers permit. She returned about 2 weeks later, emaciated and sick. Probably kidney failure due to old age, although she too may have ingested some poison. Either way, I had to put her down. She wouldn’t eat or drink. Point being…let go lady. And please, don’t send me your fliers – my patience for this sort of shit is very limited. Call me cold hearted.